The Polish photographer Agnieszka Loker amongst her many talents presents one side of her art in Projectoras and talks about how she interpret her dreams into pictures.
How did you end up creating and capturing ecstatic worlds?
They were always part of myself. It seems that every person has to fulfil a purpose in life – and we are in fact subordinate elements. I didn’t have to start from some particular point in time, it was in me from when I can remember. I was always doing it and I do not think that is something special. For me, it is a fundamental part of my existence. I do not mean only the photography which is just one of my passions – one of my many ways of expression. It’s like eating, sleeping, making love. I do not exist without it.
You are a photographer, painter, stylist, musician, composer. A multidimensional artist. In your many talents, why are you emphasising in photography?
It just happened I think. It was for me a great drama to start a new life in another country. I left eleven years ago from Poland and I went to the UK. At that point, I was feeling like a stranger and it didn’t feel like home. People gave me to understand that I’ll never be as good as they are and that just because I came from Poland. I’ am not saying that I had to deal with overt discrimination at the beginning of my emigration, but I felt terrible and I was crying over my fate. I couldn’t rent a big apartment. Because of the small space, I had to leave the oil paints and the freshly painted canvas where I slept – in the same room, and because of that, I got really sick. I had to leave my music instruments and I couldn’t record music anymore, and besides, I was trying to not disturb anyone with my music and my singing.
I just know how to breathe in a fairytale world of my dimension.
Photography was the best way to express me back then. I created a springboard to a world in which I had to live and survive somehow.
If you weren’t living in this life, in this reality, how your reality would look like?
That is an interesting question, but my answer is so controversial that I will refrain from answering.
Home is our freedom and our prison. What made you fly away from your home?
To answer this question we need to determinate what “home” is. My home, for example, is my own body, and even my consciousness. My subconscious as well. I do not think that this is a prison because only I’m visible to others. It’s considered that invisible is free because it is not controlled by the one who sees it – from his opinion. The man who believes in God, the Absolute God, can not say that it is beyond the control of his own superego ( so it means that he see itself) – because it carries an element of eternal self-improvement in itself, and this, in turn, may question the value of the broader freedom. I do not consider myself as a person who would have to fly away from home to feel free. My home may be any place on the earth among people who care for me. I’ll be there a free person because I will be accepted, and because when people love and are loved then they can feel the freedom. Selflessness and altruism are the keys to freedom. None of us is free in real life, we are subject to the laws of instinct, desires and dreams. Checkmate.
In your photographs, I can sense the absence of the male present. Is there any specific reason for it?
My ex-boyfriend was my only masculine model. He was jealous of my passions – he was nervous whenever I was starting sessions with models – even with women, so I was afraid of his reaction if I agreed on sessions with men. I didn’t want to upset him and I was cancelling famous male models. Besides, I’m a woman and wants to show herself through my art. When I choose a specific model then each of them represents “myself” , subcutaneous of my world and of dreams, emotions, experiences. This is my confession.
Next year, however, there is also a plan to insert a gentleman in my work. My life entered a new chapter and I will show my “love life” with these new portraits of male models. I want to show why I love men.
If you could “dress” your photographs with a musical background which music piece would be?
This music does not exist in my reality. I heard it a few times in my dreams, but because no such scale of music can copy this one, its does not exist in our world -such as configuration connect individual sounds, I’m not able to repeat this music on classic instruments, nor even in thoughts, because it is difficult to remember something that we do not understand. You have to hear yourself that sound when you look at my work – if you can.
Nature and extraordinary beauty is a strong element in your photography. What else inspires you that is not obvious in your artwork?
I’m inspired by everything and nothing at the same time. Everything is in my head and my heart. I really do not need inspiration. Everything is elements of co-creating compositions – just as important as the model, as my many hours of work on editing photos, thousands of overcoming kilometres from place to place, matching models to suit, drinking morning coffee before the photo session. Everything happens spontaneously, but at the same time is controlled by me so much, that sometimes I think that I’m a monster or freak control. It’s magic – like breathing. I just know how to breathe in a fairytale world of my dimension.